Why do those three totally unrelated topics seem to fit together so well? Let us start with Oreos. Red Velvet is here, a red-tinged chocolaty cookie with a cream cheese-type filling instead of the traditional filling. These cookies are set to hit stores nationwide on February 2, Groundhog Day. This does not mean I’ll make a hog out of myself, but I am planning on following the delivery truck and stockpiling since the Red Velvet Oreo will be sold only for six to eight weeks. While much to the horror of many, I’m sure, I have never been a big Oreo fan, but this one I will try.
Before we get to Justin Bieber, let us speak for a minute about deflated balls (now stay with me and don’t get confused. I mean footballs, of course). Even non-sports fans must have heard about this story. The NFL discovered that 11 of the 12 footballs the Patriots used to trounce the Colts were underinflated by 2 pounds. Imagine 32 ounces of pigskin making a 45-7 win possible when in fact the Patriots would have won 21-7 if all they had were LeGarrette Blount’s 3 rushing touchdowns. That’s rushing, not throwing and catching, but rushing, as in running and running. In high school our coach use to throw what felt like rocks at us in practice because it got us ready for regulation footballs, which were somewhat softer and easier to catch than the hard ones in practice. Softer footballs, which are also easier to intercept if you can get your hands on them, wouldn’t explain this 38-point difference. Cheating is cheating, though, and there will be more on that in the podcast.
Now from deflated balls to no, er, what is the word? Hmm. Ah, nuts. Comedy Central is going to roast Justin Bieber. It’s unclear whether he will be skewered first, but one can always hope. It seems the Biebe has always wanted to be skewered, I mean roasted, and Comedy Central said the only reason it hasn’t been done yet is there was not enough material until now. The date has not been set, but I have a line for the roasting: when Justin lays an egg, he throws it at his neighbor’s house (crowd erupts with laughter, Bieber cackles).
I have no idea what else will be on the shores of Rambling Harbor, but join me there and we’ll find out together.